Merrie H. Reagan

Good wishes Bill Belichick

By Merrie H. Reagan

Seventy-three-year-old former six-time Super Bowl winning, New England Patriots head coach, Bill Belichick, became the head coach of the University of North Carolina in December of 2024. During a recent press conference, he said that he is enthusiastic about UNC upcoming football season, commenting that UNC football team leadership is solid and that physical training and team building is going well.

Although Mr. Belichick and I have not met, I can confidently say that by the time he had left the New England Patriots, he had taught me and probably many additional people-avid and non-avid football fans alike-life lessons about relationships that include and go beyond playing football. When having been an intermittent Patriots game watcher, over several years, I observed him talking with media members in post-game conferences about New England Patriots game happenings.

Hearing him speak regularly initially found me becoming bewildered with consistently witnessing the monotone and matter of fact nature of communication that he exhibited, whether the team had won or lost the game you were discussing.  Here is one case on point.

When in 2019 the Patriots won the Super Bowl game they played against the Los Angeles Rams, you were quoted as having said, That’s (LA Rams) a great team.” You also stated, “We knew it was going to be a hard competition as we had all year, and it was.” You also commented that the Patriots were able to make a few more plays throughout the game, which contributed to the game win.

Similarly, when this past season the Patriots experienced a devastating loss (38-3) in a game played with the Dallas Cowboys, afterwards. You responded to reporters, “Tough one to lose tonight,” “Give Dallas credit,” you added. One day sometime after this, I realized that throughout the years, as I had been watching you speak during post-game conferences, you had been teaching me important lessons about human relationships and perseverance. I was not perplexed anymore, when hearing you respond with press members during after-game meetings.

Gratefully, I realized that you were teaching me-and anyone else who wants to learn-about the value of maintaining an even temperament and an attitude of gratitude, no matter what circumstances one is facing. “This is one of the reasons why Bill Belichick became a six-time Super Bowl winning head coach during twenty-four years of being Head Coach with the New England Patriots,” I delightfully surmised. From that moment forward, I have held what you taught me about relationships within this heart.

I stopped being overly emotional; I also developed increased respect for men, having realized that men do not want to talk about feelings or situation details all day. I remember going to conferences in the 1970’s in which the main conversation topic was “Why can’t men be like women?” You clearly demonstrated to me that men cannot be like women, because they are men, they are not women, just as women cannot be more like men, because they are not men.

Not focusing on why men cannot be like women enabled me to appreciate that while doing so, women can learn some things about male persona and in turn, experience increasingly satisfying relationships with men. Long story short, I became less analytical about why relationship situations and circumstances happened and how to solve male female conflicts and therefore more matter of fact in relationships with men; I realized that in general, men neither want or know how to talk at length about feelings.

Though not always, generally when a man sees a women who comes across as being overly emotional, even if the women is not talking, he wants walk or run away, because he does not know how to process being in this circumstance. As I grew in understanding and respect for this reality, men who  previously avoided me or were guarded when interacting with me began to be increasingly open with me, including demonstrating willingness to converse about emotional matters.  What an amazing development.

Likewise, these experiences also helped me to continue to grow in relationships with women and in doing so, not to overplay the value of emotion in relationships. I have regularly thought,  “Men often say they don’t care about matters to the point that they are hiding that they do care. Women often say they care about matters to the point that they are hiding that they don’t care about said matters as much as they say they do.”   Healthy men and women balance emotion with reason.

During a coaching farewell press conference held on Thursday January 11, 2024, in which you clarified that you were leaving the position of Head Coach of the Patriots, you indicated that “For me this is a day of gratitude and celebration for this (Patriots) family, for having been giving the opportunity to coach this team for twenty-four years. You said that he and team members had fulfilled a vision that he had of building a championship football team in a manner that “exceeded my wildest dreams.”

“These are memories I will carry with me for the rest of my life,” you added. You commented that you are grateful for Patriots assistant coaches who made life relatively easy for you through preparation, hard work, and diligence they demonstrated adding, “and I say this about the players and coaches regardless of how long they were with the team. It was a great team effort and that is why we were successful.”

You spoke affectionately of the Patriots organization to the point of reservedly being effusive, as you said, “I have coached well over one thousand players in twenty-four years, many are in the Hall of Fame, many more are going. Whether or not they won championships,  “I respected their ability to come to work daily, train in the weight room, meet, and repeatedly rehearse what is important to do to be successful.”

During the conference, you did not once mention the six New England Patriots Super Bowl wins in 24 years to which you significantly contributed. You did not comment on bringing six Vince Lombari trophies you brought back to MA in 24 years. You were primarily focused on expressing love and gratitude in a manner that is not grounded upon team wins or losses, successes or failures. This is another valuable life lesson.

You thanked Patriots owner Robert Kraft for working with you. You and Bob earnestly shook hands; you stepped aside and sat down near the press conference podium and then Bob moved to the conference podium where he affirmed that parting terms between you and the Patriots organization was good and amicable. “I am glad the partnership between us lasted twenty-four years,” Bob said.

Ending the conference, you and Mr. Kraft embraced one another and then in a child-like and amusing manner and while they were doing so, Mr. Kraft suddenly addressed media members delightfully saying, “He’s got a cold, so I’m not going to kiss him.”  Thank you, Bill Belichick for teaching many, including me, invaluable life lessons that will go with you wherever you go. Good wishes.